Chuck Norris.

Here's a couple of Chuck Norris jokes of my invention.

Chuck Norris can say Candle Jack without anything happening to hi

Chuck Norris once raped God, for lack of anything better to do. This is now known as the big bang.

Jesus may have walked on water, but Chuck Norris walked on Jesus.

There was no bomb at Hiroshima... There was only Chuck Norris.

Nikola Tesla once boasted that he could destroy the planet. No-one dared him to try.
Chuck Norris once boasted that he could destroy the universe. Everyone knew he was right.

Chuck Norris is the only person who can defeat Chuck Norris in a fight.

Chuck Norris had a stunt double doing all his fight scenes in Walker Texas Ranger. The producer couldn't afford to replace the actors he was killing.

Work work work...

Pretty much all I've been doin for the last two weeks... Sucks balls, but meh. Did my christmas shoppin today. Took all of an hour. I don't get why people need weeks and weeks to do it. Fuck that. Got shit for my family and my woman. Everyone else can get fucked lol.
In other, unrelated news, turned 19 on friday. Feel exactly the same. I don't wanna be 19. That's fuckin old man. OLD! I still feel like I'm 16 at times. And apparently i still look it. I keep gettin asked what school i go to by workmates. Haven't gone to school in a year. Hell, I've barely gone to uni in that time. But the look on their face when i say I'm at UNSW doin computer science is entertainin. But my workmates are pretty cool overall.
On another strange tangent, I'm goin to Fiji in febuary. Me and Carla are goin for her birthday. It's gonna be mcHectic. If i can, I'll blog during, otherwise I'll recap the week when i get back. I'm excited. Tickets were paid for today.
Last but not least, my 'rents are goin away for new years. Gonna have a mad party at my house. Even if no-one comes lol. Prob's shouldn't have left it to the last minute but who cares. Who ever turns up, it'll be fun.
That's the end of things i can think about that are worth talking about. About. About. About. Lolwut.

Enjoy.

On the flawed logic of paradoxes.

You get a double hitter today. I'm inspired, 'n shit. I've just read a thing on 7 purportedly unsolvable paradoxes, where every suggested solution is idiotic. I however have elegant solutions to all of them.

1) Free will.
If god is omniscient and knows everything that is going to happen, how can we have free will?

Two solutions. One, there is no god. Too easy eh? Two, assuming the existence of an omniscient being, He would necessarily know every possible outcome of every possible action for every possible situation. It is not required that he know which will take place, as there is no fact to that which has not occurred. Actually, i have a third solution. We don't. Free will is an illusion. In conclusion; there is no paradox.

2) The crocodiles dilemma
A crocodile steals a son from his father, and promises to return the child if the father can correctly guess what the crocodile will do. What happens if the father guesses that the child will not be returned to him? The supposed issue is that if he returns the child, the father is wrong, and he shouldn't have returned the child, but if he keeps it, the crocodile breaks his word.

The crocodile kills the child and returns the body. Nothing says he can't return the child if the dad is wrong. Also, the dad's a smartass, and doesn't deserve the kid back. (also, crocodiles can't talk.)

3)  Time travellers grandfather.
A man goes back in time, and kills his grandfather before the grandfather can meet his grandmother. This means that one of the man’s parents will not have been born, and the man in turn, will not have been born. This would mean that he could not have traveled back in time after all, which means the grandfather would still be alive, and the traveler would have been conceived allowing him to travel back in time and kill his grandfather.

Logically, time travel in which events of the past can be changed is impossible. It brings about the situation where the grandfather both died and didn't die. Assuming that the grandson does in fact go back in time to try to kill his grandfather, his every attempt will fail, as his grandfather does not die then. History is already written, and in it his grandfather survives. In that time period, he already existed and tried to kill his grandfather, before he was born. This involves reverse causuality, and i can't be arsed explaining it properly here, but ask me some time. Time travel is something I'm big on. I wrote an essay assessing basically this question.

4) Paradox of the heap
There are 1,000,000 grains of sand in a heap. If we remove one grain, it is still a heap. If we remove another grain, if it still a heap. If we continue removing one grain at a time, when we’re left with one grain, is that still a heap?

Realistically, it would transform from a heap, to a pile, to some other smaller abstract notion of a collection of particles. These are not clearly defined, and have more to do with the height and volume of the collective, rather than the number of entities. Is a 100 people standing in a room a heap? I'd say no. But 100 people lying haphazardly in a stable pile, I'd call that a heap.

5) Omnipotence paradox
Can God create something so heavy He cannot lift it? If he can create something so heavy he can’t lift, then his lack of strength means he is not omnipotent. If he can’t create something so heavy he can’t lift, than he is not omnipotent.

The answer to this is simple. An omnipotent being must necessarily be able to remove his own omnipotence. So yes, god can microwave a burrito so hot not even he can eat it. Because as soon as he does, he removes his omnipotence.

6) Epimenides paradox
Epimenides, in a poem wrote: “The Cretans, always liars, evil beasts, idle bellies!” However, Epimenides himself was a Cretan. If Epimenides is a Cretan and a liar, then his statement, “The Cretans, always liars” is a lie. This means all Cretans are truthful, then Epimenides’ statement is the truth. The paradox will infinitely regress.

Quite simply, the negation of "every Cretan is a liar" is not "every Cretan always tells the truth". It is "At least one Cretan has told the truth at least once." So Epimenides is a liar, and at some point a Cretan has told the truth at least once.

7) Unstoppable force.
What happens when an unstoppable force meets an unmovable object? If the force moves the object, then it is not unmovable. If the force doesn’t, the force is not unstoppable.

This is an impossible situation, because an unstoppable force requires infinite energy, and an unmovable object requires infinite mass. In a theoretical sense however, perhaps the object stays still, and the universe moves around it. I could not say for sure.

That's it. For those that want the original, it's here

Customers are the worst thing that has ever happened to retail.

This happened to me at work today. A kid comes up and grabs like 15-20 different packs of christmas cards. Takes them to his mother who says just one pack. Kid takes the rest back, stands in front of the thing, and drops all of them. I swear to god. I wanted to stab the motherfucker.
As another related story, i found 4 open, but 1/4 drunk bottles of gatorade hidden on shelves. IN THE SAME FUCKING ISLE!

Fuck everybody.

Oh silver tounge, why hath thou forsaken me.

I've lost pretty much all my inspriation to blog in the past few months. I don't know why. I have all these ideas... But like, whenever i start to write i struggle to find things to say. Or to find ways to make it interesting. Sucks balls. Anyone wanna suggest something for me to write about?

Things running through my head right now...

[This page was left intentionally blank]

Someone recommend me some new music.

I'm running out of things to listen to. I'm thinkin it's time i got some more screamo. I was considering Bring me the horizon, but i decided to gather peoples opinions first. I figure, I'll listen to some of any bands that are recommended, and any individual tracks, and anything i like I'll showcase in a post in a few weeks time. Anything rock/punk/emo would be appreciated. I'm kinda over dance music and dubstep for now.

As a sample of what I'm looking for, enjoy Not good enough for truth or cliche by an excellent band called Escape the fate.

Strange dreams...

Seems they've been going around a lot lately... A fair number of people have been mentioning them. Maybe the government's been putting rainbows in our water again. Or LSD. Who cares.

Here's a sample of my recent ones:
A few nights ago, there was one where Emily and I had a competition to see who could give themselves piercings the fastest. We had like 10-12 spots we had to pierce, and who ever finished first was the winner. Catch was, we had to use small hand drills to make the holes with. I mean, we literally had to drill holes in our own bodies. Not even like "Hold this trigger" drilling, we had to wind the drills ourselves. I think i got through two of them before i gave up. At this point, Em had done like 7. Congratulations Em. Even in my dreams, you beat me at piercings.

There was one the other night that made me sad when i woke up. The start bit's confusing as hell though. I forget why, but there was some argument between people i know, and it was decided that the only way to resolve it was to have a drag race down my street. I don't know who most of the people driving were, there was like 7 of them, but i know my mates Jody and Kieran from the city were there, as well as Kristy Collyer, the big sister of Nic, my friend who passed away last year. That was weird. Anyway, they started in my driveway (driving things like utes, and white vans and other weird shit like that) and blazed out onto my street and off into the distance. Then the place was crawling with cops and ambo's, even though i didn't see anyone crash. So everyone decided to go inside. Then the dream branched off, and Nic (who inexplicably was still alive; even my subconscious misses him) was staying with my family for like a month. The rest of the dream was like, us playing guitar and xbox and shit. Felt so depressed when i woke up... = \

I also had one last night, where i had a weird dream i couldn't remember, woke up, and tried explaining it to my sister. In my dream. Was very confused when i woke up for real, lol.

Enjoy.

Fuck yeah 4 months off

Best holiday ever. Made even better by the fact that i had (probably less than) half as much class-time leading up to it then i did during school. Uni is amazing. But i have NOTHING to do these holidays. It's kinda boring. Anyway, in other news, I didn't pass maths this semester. But i might get given a pass conceded if my marks are high enough. I'm really hoping i do. So don't wanna repeat... = \

As for other news, i don't really have much. Nothing's really happenin in my life. Been hanging out with friends a bit, seeing Carla pretty much every day and spending large amounts of time on my pc.
Life's a bit dull.

Enjoy.

Knives.

I like knives. They're pretty fucking awesome. For those that don't know (but i think I've mentioned it yesno?) I've started doing martial arts. Today was the most kickass lesson ever. Me and rob (because we were the only two from our group who went this week) spent an hour wrestling with wooden knives, trying to slash the other across the arms, wrist, body, anywhere basically. I learned that I'm pretty damn good with a knife. I scored a wounding blow on rob like 70-80% of the time. It was so much fun. We'd circle around each other, one of us would leap in with a slash, and they'd either score a hit, or we'd grapple for a min or two before someone got a slice across the arm. So much fun.

In commemoration of this, I'm going to give a short demonstration of the style of knives i would enjoy owning.

This is a millitary issue combat knife. Double edged, steel tang, med lenght and reversible grip. This would be good in a fight. 

A bowie knife. God they're sexy. Just LOOK AT IT! *drools*

Found this in google. Full finger cover (which would give you good control, but stops you reversing the grip properly), and just a nice looking blade. Looks single edged, but that's not too bad.

No idea what this is. But i like it. Probably would be heavy though.

Another military knife. Blackened blade stops light reflecting and giving you away. Tang's a bit small, but i think this was meant for stabbing not slashing.

So if anyone want to get me a knife for my 19th? I will appreciate it. I promise. Get me more then one. I promise i won't go on a murderous rampage. Much.

The music industry is thoroughly deserving of a cuntpunt.

Seriously. First they inflict Faggot Beaver on us, and now this shit? This is Willow smith. Daughter of Woll Smoth. And i highly recommend you don't watch the video, because it is truly that awful. I warned you.

Embed disabled, so here's the link. Don't say i dind't warn you.

But wtf? When did being 12 years old become cool? These kids should still be shitting themselves over their upcoming puberty, and realising that the opposite gender is much more entertaining then tv. Not inflicting their preteen screeches on the rest of humanity. And to all the 14 year old girls out there, if i ever hear anyone singing Justin McShitface ever again, the singer is getting repeatedly gutterstomped, and having a wire brush rammed down their throat. Try singing after that. 

[EDIT - Fixed the dead link]

Game Review #2 - Ghost hacker.

Possibly the best tower defence game I've ever played. For starters, it has a plot. WOW! And a good one as well. With plot twists, and a couple good knives into the spinal chord. In a flash game. Mindgasm. Also, the game play is amazing. Strategic planning is mandatory for success. Most of the later levels require several attempts, and a lot of experimentation with tower placement and upgrades before finding a combination that works. Great variety in enemies, and the tactics required to beat them.

And easily the best aspect of the game. Well, the best two. There's no money penalty for selling a tower. Instead, any money you earn in game is stockpiled outside of your available cash and fed in at 1 unit/second. So selling things leaves you disadvantaged, but not crippled. And finally, all towers are customisably upgradeable. You buy a tower, and it has upgrade slots where you put benifits like splash, r.o.f., range and cooler things. If you like TD's i highly recommend this.

Graphics - 5/5 - quite appropriate given the game, and didn't lag my computer.
Gameplay - 5/5 - Best. TD. EVAR.
Replayability - 2/5 - After finishing a level, there's not much point going back to it. Unless you're a perfectionist. Like me. 
Story - 4/5 - Entertaining, and some clever twists.
Overall - 8/10

I get tired of saying i neglect you.

So i won't. Pretty much nothing has been happening in my life... Or nothing really blog worthy. I've had a few things I've vaguely wanted to talk about but nothing has really been blog worthy for a while... Makes me sad. I enjoy when I'm inspired to write something. Feels good to pour my heart out into these words and know that others may read them and get that little bit extra incite into what makes me tick. Because that's something that's always been very important to me. Often to an absurd degree.

For those of you who got lost somewhere between the title and this sentence, the topic of discussion is me. More specifically, because i don't have nearly enough time left in this life to fully describe my own awesomeness in sufficient detail, i feel like discussing what makes me who i am, and what makes me act how i do. In short, the following is my own psychoanalysis of myself.

Let's begin with my towering ego. Basically, all my self confidence boils down to the fact that i believe i am inferior to most of the people around me, and thus have nothing to lose. I use the fact that i am most indefinitely a loser of the best kind, as an excuse for not really caring about how potential actions could effect my social standing.

I got bored writing this, and decided now is the time to discuss music. Yeah, I'm in a strange mood today. I'm a little down, a little up, but nowhere in between. It's just been one of those days.

Music. Yes. Back on topic. I fucking love the used. They make me want to burst with emotion. I'm considering getting the bleeding heart emblem tattooed on me somewhere. Actually fuck music, let's discuss tattoos. I'm too scared to actually get one. Like I'm too scared to try drugs. I have an addictive personality and i know i won't be able to stop at just one. So i stop at 0. It's easier that way. Other things I've considered getting for tattoos are blink 182's smiley, and a treble and bass clef that my friend Nic had. For those that don't know he passed away a year ago (i mentioned it in a previous blog) and i think it would be a fitting tribute.

This is the heart logo. I was thinking it would look nice over my actual heart. 

The blink 182 smiley, probably on my shoulder (and in black not white)

The final one. Probably with N.J.C. above one of them. These are his actual tattoos btw. Taken off his myspace.

That'll do for now. I grow weary of attempting to maintain a coherent train of thought. I lack the emotional energy right now. Time to go stab something.

The main ingrediant to sucess

Hahahaha i just found out you can change more of blogger than i thought you could. For example, you can change "Posted by" "comments" and a few other things to completely ridiculous statements such as "Baked fresh by" and "toppings". My posts now read like some bizaar cupcake recipy. Mmmmm delicious...

Also, you can now rate my posts based on how entertained you were. But please don't pick the ridicuous option for every post. 

[edit]

The changes don't seem to have been applied yet... Well, not all of them. Lamezorz

Fucking internet

I had a mad awesome long post written out, and then blogger decided to eat it. So Now I'm gonna go cry in the corner, and do my comp lab.

fuck you.

I'm sorry my love...

I've been unfaithful. I'm living in sin with my other great love. It's just not gonna work out with you. I'm sorry Internet, i can't be with both you and Carla at the same time. Mostly because i have better things (people) to do. If you want, we can have an affair together. I never want to be completely separated from you. You are another part of my soul. Just, a lesser one.

So I'm dropping the jilted lover thing. It was amusing for the first few lines, then i got bored. Basically i haven't been posting because I've been too busy living. I shall attempt to give a quick recap of events.

My parent's left for Indo a week ago. They'll be back in another week. Mum took dad on a trip, and he had no idea where he was going, or who he was going with. It was pretty adorable. They're having fun, from what I've heard. I'm glad. We're not going to Indo this Christmas, so I'm glad Dad got to go. He never says it, but he starts to miss home. I can tell.

Carla's parent's also mysteriously vanished. She's now home alone. Or would be if i wasn't here. I was home twice last week. Tuesday and Sunday. It has been, how can i put this... Pretty... Fuckin... Awesome... =D

I'm living off Mac cheese, reheated food and pizza. It's amazing. I'm eatin Milo cereal for breakfast, and having large quantities of bacon... LOL I SAID TITIES! =P

Speaking of bacon, everyone must know this. GRILLING BACON IS BY FAR THE MOST DELICIOUS WAY TO COOK IT! EVER! Seriously though. If you've never had grilled bacon, you're missing out. You might think pan-fried bacon was amazing, but it pales in comparison. Take it straight from the fridge or freezer, and stick it straight under the grill. I had it at about 180c. It defrosts while it cooks, so you don't need to bother with that. Just keep an eye on it and turn it occasionally (the individual pieces as well as the large frozen block). Key point to take note of is that the underside of the frozen block of bacon actually defrosts faster than the top, due to metal's conduction of heat. So keep a watch on it. It'll brown deliciously. That's when you know it's ready.

If you don't believe me when i say how amazing it is, let me cook you bacon some time. You won't regret it.

As for other parts of my life, I still haven't had a shift. Apparently, I probably won't until november, when they start needing the people they 'hired'. Lamezorz...

Uni's going bearably. I only have this week and next week before exams, so i can hold up. Buy I'm damn sick of Psychology and Math. Thankfully, I probably won't fail either, due to changes in the weighting of the maths marks, but I'm bored shitless in both of them, and I'm not really following the classwork anymore. Next year, I'm sticking to Philosophy and Engineering subjects. They're at least fun. I don't think there's much more to talk about. Time to go jump on my girlfriend. I've been neglecting her to write this.

Enjoy.

Sleeeeepppppaaaayyyy....

I've been neglecting you again, haven't I? I do apologise. I've had a rather busy few weeks, and this is pretty much the first time I've been alone with my thoughts in days... And I'm about to go spend it sleeping. I should blog more, but mostly, i can't be fucked.

On the plus side, if the weather turns good, beach tomorrow. I'm pumped. (Y)

Herp derp...

Who in their right mind employs me? Seriously. How fucking retarted are they. But i guess it's pretty apt. For the slow ones amoungst you, as of today, I AM EMPLOYED! At the Reject Shop no less. Yeah, i laughed too. So now i can totally pretend to earn money and stuff... I hope it's fun. And i can finally start paying my girlfriend the hundreds of dollars i owe her... Maybe not hundreds... But it's a lot. She's gonna get taken to so many dinners. And not have to pay for both our meals... = \

Oh well, I'll finally be cured of this dreadful poor i caught. Terrible disease that one. Not really much more i wanna say... Life's been pretty meh. Uni sucks balls. Other things are only slightly better. Herp de derp.

Enjoy.

I am officially Amazing.

And the cap on Amazing is required. I found out yesterday afternoon that i had a 1200 word essay that was already overdue by 2 days i proceeded to write ~1000 words in slightly less than a 24 hour period, to submit it 3 days late. It doesn't matter that it's shit as fuck, i can get a max of like 70% of it anyway. It doesn't even need to be a pass. The exam is 50% of my subjects marks, and it's 60 multiple choice questions. Easy as fuck. Thankfully, all i have now is a group assignment for Psyc and my comp project, and I'm done for the year. WOOOT!

But if i pass maths this semester it'll be a miracle.

Enjoy.

Memories and other unfortunate things...

Did something i haven't done in forever today. Hung out with Josh and Rob (and for a while, Jord). Holyfuck, SO MUCH NOSTALGIA! I swear to god, it was like the funniest scroll down memory lane ever. We even played fuckin HALO! Shit but that doesn't bring me back to year 10. Granted, we were playing Reach, which hadn't even been thought of then, but it's still visually the same game (only on 3 different kinds of steroids, methamphetamine's and with a massive face lift). Like, the experience is the same.

Sadly, it wasn't all the same... There are parts of it that just weren't the same as back in the day. Rob summed it up pretty well when we were having lunch at maccas. "It's just not the same when you haven't had to walk 4km's to get here." School used to build up to Thursday afternoons so much... It was what got me through Wednesday.

But to add to the nostalgia, we did what started our whole association in the first place. We blew shit up. Spectacularly. We took a quick detour to Wollies (while discussing the merits of the new Linkin Park album) where Rob purchased 240 sparklers, and 3L of Metho. When we got back, he spent like an hour taping all the sparklers together, while me josh and jord played Reach. Then when we got back from Jeet Kun Do, we dug a hole in Josh's backyard, stuck our sparkler-grenade in it, I lit the fuse, and we sat back and watched the magic happen. Video's here. Not sure if it will show unless you're friends with Rob. Anyway, it took us all quite by surprise with how amazingly excellent it was.

Speaking of JKD, Josh came with us this week. There are now 6 of us that go, and it's pretty awesome. Todays lesson was exhausting. But very instructive. I actually feel like i made good progress. They'll make a fighter out of me someday.

On a less happy note, I realised it's been over a year since my very dear friend Nic J. Collyer passed away... And about a year since his funeral... I still think about the kid. My greatest regret in life is (and most likely always will be) that i never saw him again, after he moved at the end of year 6. For 8 years of my life, we were inseperable. We never had a fight that wasn't forgotten by the next day. I remember once, we spent over 72 consecutive hours hanging out. It was either a long weekend, or school holidays. We spent a day at my house, building couch-forts and playing with my rabbits. Then, a day at his house, building a themepark for his rabbits in the laundry. Finally, by some miracle of fate, he convinced his mum to let him spend another day at mine. Playing N64, I'm pretty sure. And it would definitely have been Diddy-kong racing. That game was the shit!

I hope, and i hope you realise how much of a struggle it is to say this... I hope god exists. Because if anyone deserves to be in heaven, it's Nic. And if He does exist, that means that maybe someday, we can hang out again, and catch up on the 6 years of our lives that we weren't able to share.

I will never forget you.
R.I.P.

So i figure...

It's about time i posted those answers. I'm very disappointed in everyone but Em.
#1 Angels And Airwaves - The gift
#2 Blink 182 - I miss you
#3 Sum41 - Pieces
#4 Yellowcard - Only one
#5 Boxcar Racer - There is
#6 +44 - Lillian
#7 Escape the Fate - Not good enough for truth or cliché
#8 Faker - Hurricane
#9 Taking Back Sunday - Great romances of the 20th century
#10 Muse - Hysteria
#11 Yellowcard - Empty apartment
#12 Eyes Set to Kill - Darling
#13 Linkin Park - Forgotten
#14 My Chemical Romance - Helena
#15 Slipknot - Snuff

The ones you absolutely need to listen to before you die are 4, 5, 6, 7, 9 and 15. And I'm sure you noticed (Actually I'm sure you didn't so I'm going to point it out to you) that 4 of the first 6 involve Blink182 members. And If you've never heard of Boxcar Racer, you're missing out on something amazing.

On a completely unrelated note, here's a song for this week. Concrete boots by After the Fall. Pretty good band, though not many people know of them, and they're not too famous. This song's like 5 years old though, so you'll never hear it on the radio. And watch the clip, and see how long it takes for you to work out what's actually going on. It's pretty fuckin sick once you work it out.

Enjoy. = ]

[insert title here]

I apologise for my complete lack of posting. I've been rather the busy lately. Had some mad as dreams that I'm pumped for retelling, and wanna review another game and post some new songs. Also, i need to post the results from my quizzy thing. Which i am most disapointed with. Only Em had the balls to take it. Anyway, i have a psyc assignment due monday that i needs must be working on. So that's all for now.

Enjoy.

Fuck you Uni. Fuck you.

I'm so fucking tired. It's horrible. I just finished mid semester break. I haven't been awake before 12 once this whole week. Well, except Friday when i was meeting David and Richard. But that was an exception, and getting up at 11 was still hard anyway. I had to get up at 8:30 this morning. Now, that doesn't sound too bad, until you realise that i couldn't sleep before 2:30. So yeah, didn't actually get out of bed till 9. Was too tired to be hungry, so i never ate breakfast. Slept half the trip to the city, and would've slept on the bus to uni if there hadn't been a babe sittin just in front of me. Dozed through maths. Now i have 4 straight hours of class.

This had a point, I'm sure. But i can't for the life of me remember what it was.
Time for caffine.

enjoy.

Game Revue #1 - Quadrilateral Thinking

I feel i should start reviewing outstanding games I've played, whether they're amazingly amazing, or terribly terrible. I'll start this new trend with a game that has consumed many many hours of my time lately. It's called quadrilateral thinking, and it's a puzzle game that I'm amazingly good at. So amazingly good that the developer is actually using me to discuss new ideas with. And if you need proof of how amazingly good i am at this game, check out the scoreboard for "total score in pattern mode" and all of the "best sol'n of patterns level #". Probably start at level 7. The first 6 are fixed scores.

Anyway, here's the game. The objective is to recreate the shapes in the box on the right in every single box in the playing field. The specific colours don't matter, What is red in the pattern can be pink on the board, as long as every piece of red is pink. The first few levels are easy as, but after that, it's a massive mindfuck to get the next ones completed. I'm working with Khail - the developer - to ease this transition, so if you have any suggestions, either comment here, or on the game. And can you rate it 5/5 for us? It's a good game, and Khail get's paid based on how high it gets rated.

And if you don't have an account on Kong yet, i reccommend you make one. Most of the games i rate will be from there. And there is an Xbox style achievement system on the site, so you have incentive to play new games.

So yeah, I guess i need some kind of scoring system. Lets see...

Graphics - 3/5 -Not very impressive, but not nesscissary
Gameplay - 5/5 - Simple and addictive
Replayability - 5/5 - So fucking hooked
Story - n/a
Overall - 5/5

Game type - Puzzle

How ironic.

I just scorched all the hair on my right hand. How, you may ask... Well you see, i was refueling my zippo lighter, and I'd put two big squeezes of lighter fluid in it. And i thought to myself "I'll just put one more in, I don't want to over fill it. So start my third squeeze, and fuel starts GUSHING out the end. Like 3-4 drops a second falling from the wick. So i was like "SHIT SHIT SHIT, turned it right side up, stuck it back in it's case, and lit it to burn off the excess fuel before it leaked onto the case or my table.

But I didn't realise fuel had run down my hand. Lots of it. As soon as i flicked the wheel, my hand burst into flames. I now have maybe 2 mm of hair on each knuckle, and my room stinks of burnt hair. Actually, looking at it, it's not too bad. There's still a decent amount left. It doesn't look too weird.

This reminds me of a similar story, the one that was the inspiration for the name of this blog. It's about time i shared it with you all. 

So this one time, back in like year 10, I'd stolen a bottle of metho from my parents. No. Not for drinking. I wasn't that desperate. Anyway, I was pouring some into this metal jar lid, and setting it on fire, because blue flames are just about the prettiest things I've ever seen. Was sitting there enjoying the view, and decided to put my hands over the flame for warmth. Suddenly, with this awesome whump sound flames lept up and ignited the metho that i didn't even know was on my hand. It took me like a second or two to realise. So i paniced and shook my hand till it went out. Then, a few days later, I did it again, deliberately, at Josh's house. Fun fun fun. (Y)

And that's the story about how i found my potatoe...

I mean, named my blog. 

The End.

(P.S. Try this at home. It's pretty fun. But if you get hurt don't blame me.)

Music time?

Definitely...

This week, it's a loverly song by an excellent band. So pretty much, like any other week. Lol. Nah, I do adore this song. +44 is one of my favourite bands. I mean, it has Mark Hoppus from Blink182. It's gotta be awesome. 

Fave line has got the be "And she said 'I think I'm running out of alcohol, tonight i hate this fucking town'"

Enjoy

Lyrical brilliance.

I've decided to give you guy's a quiz... sort of, a test of your taste in music. I'ma drop some lines from songs, and tell me the song they're from. Or, atleast the artist. Some of them will be fairly easy if you have similar taste in music to me, others I'm gonna make really obscure. So see how many you can get without using Google.

1) I swear I'll melt if you touch me at all, but then I'll ask you to do it again.

2) We can live like jack and sally if we want.

3) If you believe it's in my soul, I'd say all the words that i know.

4) I want you to know, with everything i won't let this go

5) I miss the grinding concrete, where we sat past 8 or 9

6) Your heart is a grave to be perfectly honest

7) Sitting in this room, playing russian roulette

8) I've got new shoes, Intelligence included

9) September never stays this cold where i come from

10) i want it now, give me your heart and your soul

11) Answer no, to these questions. Let her go, learn a lesson.

12) Do you wanna lie to me now, now I'm erasing you?

13) There's a little peice of paper with a picture drawn

14) What's the worst that i could say?

15) So break yourself against my bones.

That'll do for now. Just drop a comment with your name and the songs, and I'll post the answers in like a week. d(^.^)b

Things to do before i die

I'm starting to compile a list of things i wanna do before i die. I'm not doing my own 101 in 1001 like Em (if you don't know about it, check out http://em-project101.blogspot.com/), i don't really wanna have a time limit on when i can do things... Nor a limit on how many goals to achieve. So here's some, in no particular order;

> Go in a zorb ball
> Play a game of Dungeons and Dragons
> Own a copy of every single blink182 cd
> Have a shirt for each of the following bands: Blink182, Paramore, Rise Against, Sum 41, Green Day, The Living End, My Chemical Romance, Taking Back Sunday, The Used, Muse, (might add more)
> Be inside an English castle
> See Stone Henge
> Prepare for a zombie apocalypse
> Play in a band
> Be a father
> Visit Nic Collyers grave
> See the following bands live: Blink182, Paramore, Rise Against, Linkin Park, Taking Back Sunday
> Understand String Theory
> Be the best man at a wedding
> Make a game of some kind
> Fire a gun
> Write a song
> Conquer my depression
> Get married

That will do for now... I'll add more to it as i go, And a lot of them i don't expect to realise for a while. Things like getting married and being a father... Not gonna happen anytime soon.

Enjoy.

Shit...

I've spent far too much time on bawww threads on /b/ tonight... and now I'm depressed as shit. I know i should stop, and go to sleep, but i can't bring myself to do it... i feel like curling up into a ball and crying myself to sleep... I know, how very un-manly of me. It doesn't normally get this bad... I feel so... Inescapebly alone... Like an empty shell of a human being... And the worst part is i'm fully aware of how completely ridiculous that is...

Anyway... The worst of it seems to have passed... The thread died... I think i might go fall into oblivion for a couple of hours...

Adventure II

SO I'm finally gettin around to tellin the second story from the other day. Sometimes it surprises me how lazy i can be. Lol. So last Wednesday, Em took a trip to my uni and we went to the museum of human diseases. That place was pretty awesome. They had the actual body parts of people who had died from various diseases. I saw kidneys the size of a foot ball. Some guy's aorta had exploded because he had a mass of clotted blood the size of a tennis ball. I mean, this thing is supposed to be barely larger than a pen, and it had a fucking tennis ball sized blood clot in it. HOLYFUCK!

So typical me, as we were wandering around i made disgustingly humerous observations about mangled sections of human bodies. Most people would have been disgusted. Em laughed. That's why I'm friends with her lol. I think the funniest thing was a story about a little girl who "Suddenly grew nauseous, and died" (or something to that effect... I'll see if Em remembers the proper quote.) We also took bet's on whether a body part was male or female. I'm pretty sure i came out on top. I'm awesome like that.

One of the things that surprised me the most was how large internal organs actually are. Like, textbooks don't give you the sense of scale for how large the average human heart is. Or livers. And Spleens. They're big fucking organs.

Over all, it was a pretty good adventure. I came out of it feelin a bit wiser and only a little nauseous. I feel i should also mention the extreme awkwardness before we got inside. We got to the place and there was noone at the window. And a sign that said we should call some dude off the phone behind us. Only there was no phone. Or number. 

Anywho... Enjoy.

7 different kinds of painful.

I has two adventures to write about today. And the title is a rare piece of witty insight which applies equally to both stories on more then one level. Sometimes it amazes me how awesome i am. The rest of the time I'm sober. Lol. Nah, jk I'm sober now, and still amazed at my awesomeness.

I digress. First story. Oh, by the way, I've decided to abandon the whole secret name thing. I feel like an idiot trying to drop secret names without it being blindingly obvious who I'm talking about so I've decided to just fuck it and use people's real names. Or amusing derivatives. I digress again. That's a good word lol. Shit stop getting distracted. STORY TIME NAO!

So on Tuesday night, Burko, Lachy and I went off and tried this martial arts called Jeet Kun Do, or "The way of the intercepting first" in chink-speak. It was fucking SO MUCH FUN! We walk in there, do some stretching and it's straight into some punching, jab's, crosses and uppercuts. After that, there was this exercise where you do lots of 2 punches (a jab and then a cross) in increasing amounts of 2 (ie, 2, 4, 6...) where for every punch you have to do a push up between sets. I got to push up #6 on my set of 10 before i collapsed. Pretty impressed with my effort. That's 26 push ups and the same number of punches. I normally manage 15 push ups before i give up. Fucked up my arms though.

After punches I'm pretty sure it was kicking. A push kick straight out infront, and then 3 round house kicks to the thigh. We took turns doin that with this guy paul who was instructing us. I should probably mention that he was wearing large padded armguards. We weren't beating the crap out of him. But i doubt any of us could have hurt him if we tried. Anyway, coolest part of the lesson was next. We got handed sticks about a meter long, and shown how to disarm people attacking us with certain strikes. 'Twas fuckin awesome! After that i think was more kicking practice. Wrecked my leg's up something savage. I'm still in pain. Anyway, I know i said I'd write about 2 adventures today, but i really can't be fucked to do the second one. So i won't. Instead, I'm gonna go play something.

Enjoy.

Hmm...

Been a while since i posted. Missed my usual thursday music post. So i think I'll do that now.

This (last?) weeks song is Chasing cars by Snow patrol. Beautiful song. One of those things i can lie there and mellow out to. No matter what my mood. I had the great pleasure of watching Megan Washington butcher this song on good news week today. Made me think of it. 

So yeah. Enjoy.

(as a side note, the letters of GnW read upside down almost spell "MuG". I noticed this a while ago.)

Hectic weekend.

Had a mad good weekend. 2 parties in 2 nights. Didn't really drink at either of them, but i still enjoyed myself. Saving gettin maggot for this weekend, when I have two parties on the same night... Really bad organising that, but nothing i can do about it...

I don't really know what I'd planned on saying here... I feel I should post something, and I'm lacking things to talk about. There wasn't really any exciting stories that happened at either of the partys. Pixy got really drunk, and was mildly amusing to talk to. Wizard continued with his amazing trend of being a model citizen and making the rest of us look bad by comparison. Bunch of people got high and proceeded to be relatively boring. Link came back from his trip, and all was awesomeness. I'm pretty much just using this post to name people in my head. So I'll stop.

I'm really fucking hungry... And i don't finish uni for another 3 hours... I wanna go home and play bioshock... More bitching.

Enjoy.

I'd swim the ocean for you...

Song this week is Kelsey by Metro Station. I thought I'd get away from the whole dance/electronic scene and onto some good old rock. Or, in this case Pop-Punk. Still, an amazing song. Nice and chill, with good lyrics, and a beautiful melody. This has been one of my fav songs for a few months now...

Also, i recently found out that the lead singer is Miley Cirus's half brother. Who'd'a thunk it? Anyway, just some useless trivia for you.

Enjoy.

Blogger needs some features...

Like notifications for when i get comments. I mean, seriously. It doesn't tell me at all. Unless i want to moderate every single fucking comment. Not that i get all that many, but still. I want people to be able to post freely. And just be told when it happens. Unless they're Cunt. He's not allowed to post. Unless it's on topic.

Also, the ability to freely chose my background image would be handy... I mean WTF? "Oh, heres a list of about 50 backgrounds you can use. Only about 3 are any decent, and i don't give a shit if you have an image that you really wanted to use, it's gotta be one of these or I'll stab you in the jugular. And before you ask, yes, we really do need about 1300 backgrounds with shitty patterns that would totally ruin the look and feel of any blog. It's essential. Don't question it."

Fuck you faggots.

Sincearly,
Ed.

ps, I'ma put the name of anyone mentioned in the labels, so once you work out who you are, you can see all the posts you're in.

pps. i think more people should write blogs, gives me something to do to kill time.

ppps. The cake is a lie.

I just found out, that the edit post page shows all the comments on your post. Still not as good as it could be, but not as shit as i thought...

The smell of napalm...

The other day, i burnt the hair off one of my knuckles while playing with my lighter... It's starting to grow back... Reminds me of the time i earned the inspiration for the name of this blog. That was a fun day. My hand looked funny for a week or so afterwords... Fun fun fun... I think, if i had access to metho, I'd repeat my experiment and video tape it for all to see... That, or i could do it in person for people. Someone want to buy me a bottle of metho? I promise it'll be entertaining.

Need more friends with wings...

You know those nights where all you wanna do is lie there and be absorbed in something amazing... Music, television, a book, a movie, some amazingly sublime experience that carries your mind away from the tedious boredom of our sorry existance. Those nights where the last thing you want to be is you. Where everything is so intense you feel like screaming until your lungs give out and your soul melts away into glorious bliss...

I love those nights.

When you can find something to throw yourself into...

Otherwise everything seems... Shallow... Unfulfilling... Just makes the experience seem worse... It feels like nothing you can do will ever have meaning again. You begin to question the purpose of your existance. And that's always a grim question. You begin to realise that there isn't really a purpose. Or perhaps you knew that all along. It doesn't really matter. You sit there and wish your life was worth changing. That there was some reason to try and make things better. 

I hate those nights.

Some people find god, and use him as an excuse to keep on trying. They say "God loves me, and he wants me to be happy." I say that's taking the easy way out. Sure, you never have to feel alone again, but in doing so, you kill off any form of curiousity. It's nothing more then an escape. It's the equvalent of throwing a dice, declaring it landed on 6, and never ever looking at it. Only this is a dice with infinite sides.

So that leaves us with a problem. You have a question and no obvious escape route or answer. "What is the point of living?" The only thing that resembles an answer, is that living is a purpose in of itself. The only reason to live is to have the experience of living.

I hate these nights...

Circular logic. Everywhere. We live because we live. That isn't a reason. It's not an excuse. Sitting here, looking for something of purpose, i can find nothing in existance worth living for. So why do i continue to live? It's not because i fear death. That is a journey i look forward to making some day. Like a gate you always wondered what was behind, but where the gate only swings one way. So you put off exploring it until you've seen everything there is to see.

No, i don't fear death. I fear something much worse. I fear missing out on life. I fear the idea that no matter how bad it is today, it could get better tomorrow, even when i'm almost sure it can only ever get worse. That tiny fragment of chance that tomorrow could be the best day of my life. That's what scares me. That's why i keep living. If i could know my own future, i wouldn't need to experience it. I hope when i die, i get the chance to sit back and explode the infinite possible paths my life could have followed. Those points where i walked past someone in the street, and if i'd stopped to talk to them my whole life would be different. Just to experience every possible outcome of my life. That's what heaven would be to me.

Enough of this.

I think I'll go lose myself in something.

Farewell.

haunting melodies

I feel i should share more of my amazing musical taste with you. You know, make a habit out of it. I'm trying to decide if i should discuss the amazing awesomeness of 30 Seconds to Mars, Paramore or Metro Station, or perhaps put some dubstep or rave in here...

Actually... I know just the song... it's a bit weird... and by a bit i mean this song is pretty fucked. It's by Kromestar and Hatcha and it's this weird dubstep song. It's kinda haunting, and a bit freaky, but i really enjoy it for some obscure reason...

I'm not sure if this is the right video, I can't have sound at uni, so I'll check when i get home. Just listen to it. You probably won't like it, but you'll understand why i had to share it.

Ground rules for believable science fiction.

This has been something I've been thinking about for a while. I was having a conversation with my cousin today (well, technically yesterday, but who gives  fuck) about really dodgy science fiction movies, and what they did wrong. Then like less then an hour ago i was watching inception, and it struck me as a prime example of how to do science fiction right.

Being a science buff, small inaccuracies in physics bug me to hell. Things that most people don't understand and just take for granted can ruin entire movies for me. These are a couple of rules that will help avoid these ever so frustrating moments.

#1: Where ever possible, don't explain.

  This might seem like a stupid one. Surely explaining the theory behind any device or phenomena will help build scientific credibility to the average viewer. No. Don't do it. The average viewer doesn't give a shit how it works. It's generally not actually relevant to the plot of the film. Who gives a shit how you made the worm-hole, what's important is that you did. Spare us the details, because you'll probably get them wrong. Inception did this beautifully. If you haven't seen it, there's this device that connects to your wrist, and allows everyone connected to the device to share dreams. It's probably impossible, but because they never explain how it works, you can't actually know if it's possible, so you can just accept that it does work. You can't go "Clearly it wouldn't work because X stops Y and Z doesn't even make sense."

#2: Where an explanation must happen, avoid actual physics as much as possible.

  Sort of a continuation on of #1. Say it works because of some piece of technology that doesn't exist, and that operates under some principle that you made up. Don't explain the tech or the principle. Avoid words like "Electromagnetic", "gamma radiation" and anything else that reflects upon reality and you may use wrongly. Particularly "ion". That word pisses me off. I was watching Farscape with my woman, and this dudes spaceship gets hit my an "electromagnetic pulse" that creates a worm-hole that sucks him to some distant part of space. That's a horrible explanation. If they didn't explain what the pulse was, just said that it was some unknown radiation, then it would have been plausible. An electromagnetic wave is the general class for things like light, radio waves, microwaves etc. An electromagnetic pulse can be created by turning anything electronic on and off quickly. It is just a burst of electromagnetic waves. Can you imagine light creating a worm-hole? All it could possibly do is fuck up some of his sensors and burn out some electronics.

#3: If real scientific terms have to be used, RE-WRITE YOUR FUCKING SCRIPT!

  Seriously. Fire your writers and hire someone who can stick some imaginary terms in somewhere that make it at least possible, if not plausible. I'm not fucking joking. This should never happen.

#4: Avoid the know-it-all-guy.

  You know the one. The scientist, hacker, experimental physicist, ancient historian, anyone who should reliably know what's going on. Having them around means that there is someone the other cast can ask about how something works. Or, if you need them for one part, make them have no knowledge of any other fields of science. It's realistic, as well as handy. No-one knows physics, chemistry, biology, geology and medicine to any decent degree. Perhaps some know 2, maybe the very smartest know 3, but everyone specialises in one school. If you need a geologist, and someone asks "How does the dirithium atomiser work?" they can go "Fucked if i know, now shoot that guy over there".

#5: Lead the viewer to a conclusion, but don't explicitly state it.

  This follows sorta from #1, and might seem to contradict it, but it's kind of peripheral to it, and expands on it a bit. Do something to show some connection between you unexplained objects. Offer the viewer some way to reason out their own potential explanation for your phenomena if they so desire. Easiest way to explain this is an example. In Avatar, the humans have this machine that allows the humans to control the body's of cloned aliens (Called avatars, but I'm sure you've all seen it). They didn't explain the functionality of the machine, and that was fine. What they did wrong, was they gave no possible explanation for how it actually controlled the avatars. It seemed to have infinite range (through a field that disrupted electronics no less), and connected to their individual avatar with no time lag or receiver. What they should have done was show some device in the avatars, could be a small chip, could be an antenna running through the tail, doesn't matter what. All they needed to do was show something, anything, that could be a receiver for the controller. They don't need to explain function, but there should be SOME connection.

I think that does it for now... I might add some more in another post as they come to me. I should definitely be in bed now lol. I have to get up for uni in 5 and a half hours. I probably won't sleep for another hour or so, but i should at least try...

The soul of existence...

I decided I'd start sharing my favourite music with people... Gives me something to talk about, and it's something very important to me. I'll try and keep it to mostly unknown tracks, and stick away from the overhyped pop music you can hear anywhere... So this weeks track is Waiting - Dash Berlin ft Emma Hewitson (Sean Tyas mix)

It has a long intro which is just a dance beat, so if you don't feel like listening to the whole song, you can skip to 1:20 and not miss anything much. Reasons i picked this song? It's an amazingly well constructed dance track, with a beautiful set of vocals over the top, that really add to the feel of the track. It builds up nicely, and finishes on a nice gentle note. My favourite moments in the song are definitely when she says "so far away" the first time, and her voice distorts (2:05ish) and from 3:20 onwards, when she sings the chorusy bit. Love it.

Anyway, give it a listen, tell me what you think aye? Comments are appreciated, but spam will be removed. (looks pointedly at "Trevor")

Sometimes...

...I just want to start fires...

...and watch everything burn...

Halo've a good time

So I'm sittin at uni with like half an hour to kill... I figure, i might as well do somethin moderately constructive... Or at least that can pretend to be constructive. So what do i decide to do? Tell you all about my awesome halo adventures. Best. Game. Evar.

Well there was the time me and Elmo (made up the name on the spot... it kinda suits, but i might change it later) won a capture the flag game on our own in under 3 minutes (All the flag captures were in the last 30 seconds), but honestly there's not a lot to tell. I could talk about how i solo'd the campaign on legendary, but despite being awesome, it's not much of a tale. I figure, I'll relate a couple of choice tales from my multiplayer games. Stories with friends involved are so much more fun.
So lets start with the time me and DonkeyKong were having a energy sword fight on Epitah. We'd both decided to play on sensitivity 10 for the fun of it (i was up from 5, and him from 4). After spending like 20 minutes getting the occasional kill, but with lots of swing and misses, we started to get the hang of it. The fights became really fierce, we were both heaps evenly matched (and we did this heaps often afterwards, which is why i now dominate swords). Anyway, there was this one moment really worth telling. I had a video of the replay, but it's since been deleted...
Anyway, all you see is me jump up, and him lunge at me. Something explodes between us, and we're both standing there, confused. I remember thinking "Wtf, i should be dead!" Watching the replay, in slow motion, we realised that just before he lunged, i started throwing out a bubble shield (for those that don't know, they're like my fav thing in halo). Anyway, as he's lunging towards me, he hits the shield and destroys it, just as it's coming out of my hand. The odds of this happening are so fuckin small. it was awesome! I've since tried to repeat this tactic with zero success.
What other good stories are there... Well there was the time I knocked Elmo off the map with a deployable cover... You see, we were playing this map that me and some other mates made (cbf making up names for them now...) and it's basically a giant maze in the sky... And we were both on top of it, wandering around. Now, he had a sword, and I'm pretty sure all i had was a battle rifle, so i was pretty fucked. I'm standing there, and he just get's into lunge range, and leaps at me. I throw down my deployable cover, which puts up this large purple wall infront of me. He clips the edge of it, and because it's curved, bounces sideways. Now, the thing we were standing on was pretty narrow, maybe 3 character's width wide. Elmo goes sailing over the edge of it, and off the map. Watching it later on, from his screen, he lunges at me, there's a bright flash of purple, and suddenly he's falling off the edge. Much lulz ensued. The only way it could have been better would be if i got the kill. I'm pretty sure he still has the vid on his xbox...
Anyway, I've sucessfully killed an apropriate volume of time. I'm off to face my 4 straight hours of lectures... Damn you monday!

The best kind of reality...

So i was playing Oblivion the other day. Weirdest thing happened... I'm riding my horse between two towns, and i come across this pig roaming the road. it see's me, and charges at my horse. So i get off, and start smacking it with my steel mace, and it continues attacking my horse. I'm like "Fuck this" And start spamming it with fireballs, which do like no damage. Anyway, my horse panics and runs away, and the pig keeps chasing it off into the forest. As I'm running after this pig, my horse runs past a small demon like creature called a scamp, and the scamp starts chasing my horse too. The scamp runs past a bandit magician, and he starts chasing it. So the wizard accidentally hits the pig with a spell, and then the pig kills the wizard in like 2 hits.

I finally killed the pig, only to watch the scamp chase off my horse. I lose sight of my horse, but i could still see the scamp, so i chased it back, onto the road and into the forest on the other side. We run for like 2 minutes before it turns around and starts attacking me. So i fight it and kill it, and it manages to draw the attention of an imp before it dies. So then i have to fight this damn imp before i can find my horse. Anyway, i ended up spending like 30 minutes fighting and then looking for my fucking horse in this massive forest, all because i stopped to kill a fucking pig. WTF?

This reminded me of some more random videogame related tales. Keeping to the oblivion theme, a month or two ago, i was doing a mission where i had to steal this statue from a church. So i sneak in, dodge all these guards, and just before i get to the statue someone see's me. I grab it and sprint out of the church, and about 5 guards start following me and shooting arrows at me. Now, oblivion has this system where if you get hit by an arrow, it appears in your inventory, so that you can reclaim used arrows from corpses. Anyway, with the statue, i was right on the weight limit, so after like 3 arrows hit me, i suddenly found i couldn't move. I quickly dropped some gear and sprinted out of the town.  Outside, for no apparent reason, there's a horse standing right outside the gate. Like, literally blocking my path as soon as i went through the door. So i steal the horse, and ride off into the distance, with a guard shooting arrows at me (the ones inside never came out, only the gate guard was left).

I ride out for like ages, and then stop to see if I'm still being followed. A wolf comes out and attacks my horse. so i get off, and get hit by another arrow. Turns out there was a bandit behind me. So i start fighting the bandit, and finally kill it just in time to see the wolf kill my horse. Then, out of fucking no-where, the wolf gets hit by an arrow. Turns out, the guard from the gate was still following me. so i watch the guard fighting the wolf, and shoot some arrows at the guard, hoping the wolf would win. It didn't. So i then had to run, on foot, for like half an hour, while this guard chased me literally from one city to another. And on the way, i managed to run past a soldier patrolling the road, AND HE STARTED CHASING ME! I finally came across this little pedastle thing, where i could stand and the guards couldn't hit me. As I'm filling them with arrows (it took like 30 or 40 to kill each one), one of them glitched out and disappeared. so i loot the body of the first to get my arrows back, and the missing one appears behind me. so i have to get back up and kill him as well.

Having killed both guards, i felt the coast was clear, and proceeded intot he next town, where i could bribe someone to get the guards off me. Only, as i walk into the town, THE CAPTAIN OF THE FUCKING GUARDS FROM THE MAIN CITY COMES OUT AND ATTACKS ME! This is the captain of the fucking city guards! YOU CAN'T KILL HIM! He chased me for like half an hour, out of the city and into the wilderness, before i jumped off this clift he couldn't move around. So i move on, trying to find a small villiage i can pay off my fines, and the guard there confronts me and says i can either pay a fine of 4000 gold (i had 200) or go to prison. I was like "OMFG FUCK THIS SHIT" and went to prison. 3 months of game time later, i was free. Also, while you're in prison, your stats drop. I lost so much of my abilities that i might as well have gone down 2 levels. God it was annoying. 

There's more tales i want to re-tell, but i really can't be fucked atm. Someday, I'll write about my halo 3 related amusing stories. And other good ones. But not today...

I made a what now?

So I followed in my friends footsteps and made myself one of these. Unlike her, I don't really have any particular aim for this... It's just gonna end up being a collection of random thoughts and philosophical musings... I've decided everyone I mention will recieve some form of code name... I haven't thought any up yet, but they will be obscurely related to the person in some way shape or form. If you ask, I might even tell you who is you, but I think you'll have fun figuring out who you are and how i decided upon the name.

So i figure I'll get a mate to draw up some awesome artworks, and then Everything will get all prettied up, and I'll be rolling in views like a mexican in his drug money. (Y)_